Self-care isn't selfish
Yes. You read that right. It’s provocative, but let it sink in…
I recently recorded the video for the Stop Overthinking! Let Your Intuition Lead program that was all about this topic and I wanted to share it here, too.
Self-care is not a luxury.
Take a second to think about that. How does that land with you? What does self-care mean to you? When you think about giving yourself self-care, what kind of things come into your mind?
And then the second part of that is being selfish. What does the phrase “being selfish” mean to you? What emotions does that bring up in you when somebody infers that something you're doing or saying is very “selfish”? What judgment do you place on others when they are doing / saying something that you feel is “selfish”?
One of the biggest areas of our life where we ignore our intuition is in our own personal self-care. We are always getting the ‘intuitive nudge’ to make our self-care a priority, and it seems to be the one place above all else that we turn a deaf ear to those nudges!
I can confidently tell you that, because I do it too… more frequently than I’d like to admit.
Kicking the self-care can down the road…
I'll have 15 minutes to do yoga later, I really should do this ‘thing’ first… That salt bath and early night will have to wait until tomorrow night, responding to this client’s email request after hours on a Sunday night is more important…. The list goes on! And later never happens…
I can almost pretty much guarantee that this is ringing true with you in some capacity, or area of your life. There's a very certain type of person that resonates with me and resonates with the work that I do. My personal coaching clients are all very, very similar in this way.
Who are you?
You are a very strong, emotionally intelligent woman. You take a lot of responsibility and personal accountability for the results that you get in your life. You're not relying on others. And in fact, the mantra you likely have on repeat is “if it's to be, it's up to me”.
Because of your inherent reliability and responsibility, it’s highly likely you are in one or more roles in your life where people are relying on YOU. A mother, a coach, someone providing professional services, healer, therapist, consultant… You get the idea! Where all of your energy is going out in support of others.
There's a giving of self to others, and that tends to not be directed back to ourselves.
There's a tendency to give and give… and give. And, as a general rule, receiving doesn’t come easy! (It goes back to that vulnerability as a strength thing that we’ve talked about before!) I see you.
It’s this self talk that creates this dynamic…
I’m the responsible one. I'm the one that gets results. I'm the one that comes up with the creative solutions for problems. And I’m right there with you, working on this just like you are! I was a personal trainer, a sports therapist, an osteopath and naturopath, a coach, a business consultant… and now an intuitive guide. People are coming to me for an answer, a creative solution, a service, insights…
Your self-care is the primary thing that then gets ignored, because everybody else's needs come first. What that ultimately means is you walking the highway to burnout.
The reality is that for us to be able to show up at the highest level, we have to take care of ourselves first. We can't serve others when we're serving from an empty well.
When you're burned out, you are not in any position to listen to your intuition.
So it's that vicious cycle where your intuition is telling you (repeatedly) that you need a break. And you know it’s true - that bath is needed…there is time for that four minute grounding meditation… you really can cancel that meeting today… but you ignore it and ‘rally’ instead.
When we ignore that it leads directly to energetic, emotional, physical and spiritual burnout. And then something happens, such as getting sick or injured, that results in you being forced into downtime in an extreme way.
If you need a break, you have the choice to listen to your intuition and doing it voluntarily, or you're going to be forced to take a break. It really is that simple.